Mr. Ribbit

Recently I was introduced by a friend to a guy who was my ideal type physically - tall, light hair and eyes, beautiful smile and a laid back, fun personality.  Instantly I felt a spark that sadly, I hadn't found since my last relationship ended in 2008.  Sure, there were the red flags: recently divorced, near 30 living with his parents, not a good job (but at least he had one) and king of procrastination.  But as so many women are guilty of, I thought I could help motivate him to find a new job, get a place and make things happen for himself.  I liked this guy a lot from the beginning - enough that I was willing to date potential.  Big mistake.  Women should never settle for a man that needs to be fixed.

When we were together, I felt a strange sense of nervousness and comfort at the same time.  His kisses felt like magic.  When my phone would display his name, I would feel that school girl giddy.  But the truth is, my phone didn't display his name as often as it should.  He was distant when we weren't together, and my gut kept telling me that he was involved with other people.  He was late for dates, would decline invitations to do things or reschedule our plans.  Clearly, not signs of someone who wants to be with you.

Contrary to how it may sound, I'm an intelligent, well-educated girl.  Did I know better? Sure, I did.  But for some reason, I had convinced myself that he could be prince charming eventually.  It was probably the way he smiled and kissed me that made me feel special.  But the truth is, he spoke in ribbit.  He would give me enough to keep me around, but never enough to ease the insecurity.  Mixed signals don't even begin to describe it.  I made excuses for him, convincing myself that it was due to his recent divorce and that he just liked me to the point it scared him.  Reality is, he didn't feel the way that I did but was not man enough to tell me.

After the "sorry I've been really busy" texts and cancelling on my birthday to leave me sitting home alone, I knew he was a frog.  Problem was, I still wanted to kiss that frog...and on some pathetic level, I still do.  It's funny how our heart is so much more powerful than our brain sometimes.  Like an idiot, I kept putting forth the effort for a few weeks, just to make plans with him that he cancelled by saying "Sorry, can't make it now.  I will call you later." He never called; just eventually posted pictures and a status update on Facebook that he was now in a relationship.

Ribbit is the ugliest and cruelest language.  Had I known the truth of how he felt, I could have saved myself the hours of over-analyzing, discussing with my girlfriends and wondering what I did wrong.  Truth is, it was completely my fault.  I was willing to settle for potential and should have walked away the first time I heard, "ribbit."  Prince charming won't be slimy, and he will make it clear that he wants nothing more than to spend time talking to and being with you.  Learn a lesson from my mistake - run fast from Mr. Ribbit and don't look back.  If you have to make an excuse for his behavior, he's a frog.