The Dart Frog

Had I posted this tale as soon as yesterday, my attitude would have been completely different.  Unfortunately, we all know the drill.  You invest time & energy into talking to someone, getting to know them, going out on a date/dates and all the sudden without warning -- poof!  They've darted, leaving you to scratch your head and harbor over what you did wrong.

I have met a slew of dart frogs while dating, and it always frustrates me greatly because I tend to over-analyze everything.  I ponder over things that I said or did and can't help but feel insecure.  As a result of that, when the inevitable time comes when I need to "be the bad guy" and tell someone that I'm not interested, I actually do it.  I tell them the truth and don't just dart.

Today, my eyes were opened.  After telling a guy that I didn't see it going anywhere, he demanded explanation.  I started it with compliments and things that he did right and then gave him constructive criticism.  Perhaps the compliments weren't the right approach, but it's just in my nature to try to be nice and not hurt someone's feelings.

This conversation led to a 3 hour text exchange where he argued every single point that I made, accused me of not getting to know him well enough and literally begged for another chance.  I've told him repeatedly that it wasn't him, but I couldn't keep seeing him when I KNEW that he wasn't the one for me and that it shouldn't be so difficult this early on -- to which of course he responded, "Everything worth having takes work.  And you're worth fighting for."  Dagger through my heart.

If I didn't feel so strongly that he was a square peg trying to fit into a round hole, I would probably feel guilty enough to go out with him again.  It's made me realize the logic behind the dart frog.  Perhaps it isn't the most mature or kind thing to do, but it certainly is easier.  Rejection is never an easy pill to swallow, but neither is serving up a dose of honesty.  

Lesson learned: the dart frog doesn't always leave because of something that I did wrong.  It's like that fabulous dress in the store that you love on the hanger, but it doesn't fit your figure.  That's not to say it won't look awesome on someone else, but it's just not for you.  I'd much rather keep shopping than invest more time, energy & emotion unnecessarily.